The Energy Equation

I've been thinking a lot about a person's tendency to enjoy social interaction. Or, rather, whether a person's spirit benefits from talking with and being around others. I was talking last night with a friend about my tendency to avoid big parties because participating in mindless chit-chat completely drains me. Conversely, any time spent in deep conversation on a topic of interest, whether with a good friend or a stranger, usually energizes my mind and body; I feel lighter, and excited about life.

I read an article on the Psychology Today blogs a few days ago which discussed the "energy equation" and what it means for introverts and extroverts. People give a certain amount of energy to social interactions, and they derive energy from those interactions in return. An extroverted person is one who is satisfied by their return: their energy equation is more or less in balance. An introverted person has an imbalanced energy equation: he or she does not receive a good "return" on his or her energy "investment."

Think I may have mixed my metaphors there: equations and investments. Oh well.

When I was in college, I was a member of a sorority. Thus, I was surrounded by women who in general derive a lot of benefit from constant interaction with large groups. I "missed out" on a lot of the social aspects of sorority life because of my preference for lots of time alone. There were simply many times when I knew that if I forced myself to attend a massive frat party or the like, I would be irritated and depressed within half an hour of my arrival, and would either be pissy all night, or get so drunk I would do something ridiculous as compensation for my discomfort.

I need a certain amount of alone time in order to think my thoughts, read my books, and engage in activities which interest me without being concerned for the comfort or interest of a companion. This might be considered selfish if I was a wife and mother, or had other people dependent on me dedicating my time to a community situation, but as it stands, my only true dependents are my cats Gizmo and Lennon. And they don't mind if I spend three hours knitting and listening to NPR without once opening my mouth to chit-chat.